These people are running off at the mouth

Trying to convince me that I'm running on empty

Trying to convince themselves that they're right

That what im doing is a mistake and I can't take this

Lemme tell you where I'm at with this

You bastards are gonna have to take back that shit

I'm not plastic and fake

When I say things I take facts and lay them out for the masses

You assholes are gonna see soon that I'm not playing

And start asking me the names that I'm not saying

But I'm trying to be bigger than the bickering

bigger than the petty name calling

under the breath talking

rumors and labels and categorization

I'm like a struggling doctor, no patients

But you can say what you want about me

keep talking while I'm walking away

You people are running off at the mouth

Trying to make me take myself off safety

Trying to make my friends turn their backs on the team we built

building up some mistaken information

and I can't take this

lemme spell it out plain for you

angry groups complain about the things we do

I'm not changing direction, I'm stepping my game up

Maintaining my name, the same way I came up

You're gonna see that I'm not playing

And start asking me the names that I'm not saying

but I'm trying not to mention the names

of people who wanna siphon attention

You like the hype but pretending you're part of the picture wont pass

You're like a high school dropout, no class

You can say what you want about me

keep talking while I'm walking away bitch

Why does it always have to be

Somebody's always watching me

All I really need is some room to breathe

Is anybody out there listening?

'cause I can't stand to keep this in

All I really want, I'll say it again

You can say what you have to say'
cause my mind's made up anyway
I'm taking the high road going above you
this is the last time that I'm gonna trust you
You can say what you have to say'
cause my mind's made up anyway
all that bullshit you talk might work a lot
but it's not gonna work today

i'm not taking off the post

although things have cleared it serves as a reminder

i've endured a emotional roller coaster today

only to come out stronger and i thank god for it

i hope you start to realise i'm not as nice as you think

concentration concentration this is the game of concentration

oh dear listen to yourself you did it again,

you jumped the gun and had it point to yourself

and to dodge the bullets you gave your flimsy excuses

you made shit out of nothing that concerns you.

if you had an issue and you meant well

you could have said it proper, respect.

the bigger person not only ends well, but starts well too.

i have an issue, i slander at will

but your defensiveness makes you linger on the skirts of hyprocrism.

to those who haven't realised

when i blog i dont talk about someone in particular

its more of a collective thought

but if i do want to verbally slap you

i'll make it so pin point obvious that it is you.

and to prove my point,

its people like you elizabeth rani

people like you who push me to superstardom.

God..
I watch these girls that love their boyfriends
No matter how bastard the guys are
And how badly he treats her
She still loves him for who he is
And the years spent together
Makes it impossible to leave him

I watch these girls that fall in love with boys
Telling me how they miss their him
How he makes her go crazy
And how she just cant get enough
And even when it all seems impossible
How she doesn’t want to let go off him

I watch these best friends
Over a decade of friendship and more
Memories that they talk about over and over again
And no matter how much a jerk one can be
The other one understands

I watch all these from afar
Enjoying the beauty of love etched in every single moment
But I can’t help wondering where I went wrong
Actually. I can’t help wondering what’s your plans for me.

i took a step back to look at everything around
and i realised how everybody's having some kind of problem
looking for answers so much that they shun the world wanting to be alone
and in the process end up hurting the ones around

we're all hypocrit bastards
laughing at others for their "emo-ness"
but in the end we're guilty of the same shit
i'm not afraid of my weaknesses,
so take of that mask you're wearing and stand tall.

take it from me, no one's gona solve your issue
except you.
so rather than wallowing in self pity
why not search within
trust me you'll find the answer there.

i've lost another one.
things have happened over the few months
but i'm not phased
smiply cos i saw this coming
looking back at time, its more like a cycle in my life
no one has stayed too long, no one could ever come to close.
i've learnt to live my life alone, independent
it's not the best way to live
but fear and phobia will push you into it.
and this time my lips are sealed
i just don't see the point of telling people my problems and worries anymore


but i've rectified one thing,
i'm never gona go out of my way to help someone i like
its just not worth it.
and take it from me, if you're waiting to be understood.
its never gona happen

thank you for the good times,
you were a good friend.

Baracuda Batucada Photo Shoot

Ive told you this once before you cant control me

If you try to take me down youre gonna break

I feel your head crack and it's nothing that you're doing for me

Im thinkin you're a fake, you are that way

Youre always hiding behind your so called goddess
So what, you dont think that we can see your face?
Resurrecting back before the final fallen
Ill never rest until I can make my own way
Im not afraid of fading

Feeling your sting down inside me
Im not tired forever
Everything that I believe is fading

Now its my time
Its my time to dream
Dream of the sky
Make me believe that this place isnt made by the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out before you can breathe
Breathe into me

I stand alone

seven sins

LUST
porn penn porn penn porn penn porn penn porn penn
Desires temptation the devil within
the downfall of society
Hocus Pocus FOCUS

home

Shine-lake of fire
Lines take me higher
My mind drips desire
Confined and overtired
Living this charade
Is getting me nowhere
I can`t shake this charade
The city`s cold blood calls me home
Home it`s what I long for
Back home where I belong
The city - it calls to me
Decadent scenes from my memory
Sorrow - eternity
My demons are coming to drown me
Help - I`m falling, I`m crawling
I can`t keep away from its clutch
Can`t have it, this habit
It`s calling me back to my home

I remember the first time she came to me
Poured her soul out all night and cried
I remember I was told there`s a new love that`s born
For each one that has died
I never thought that I
Could carry on with this life
But I can`t resist myself
No matter how hard I try
Living their other life
Is getting them nowhere
I`ll make her my wife
Her sweet temptations calls me home
Home it`s what I long for
My home where she belongs
Her ecstasy - means so much to me
Even deceiving my own blood
Victoria watches and thoughtfully smiles
She`s taking me to my home
Help - he`s my brother, but I love her
I can`t keep away from her touch
Deception, dishonorIt`s calling me back to my home

Her story - it holds the key
Unlocking dreams from my memory
Solving this mystery
Is everything that is a part of me
Help - regression, obsession
I can`t keep away from her touch
Leave no doubt, to find outIt`s calling me back to my home

Happiness the tangent curve
There’s always a point in your life where you’ll hit rock bottom
Currently I just dug beneath rock bottom and buried myself
I’ve never experienced such a low.
To make things worse, it’s not an event but rather a period
All these fingers pointing at me
Claiming that I’ve changed, every so ready to judge me
Bitch you were never there by my side
So don’t fucking run your mouth aite?
All this pressure’s choking me
The weight on my shoulders making me buckle.
Or so you expect.

Disciplined Rudiments
Abs and Guns
North indian + Rock vocals

Kill the boy
Sundar Kaantham
Akshara Concepts
Pengal Silanthigal
Language
Spongebob the observer

Image

Baracudas

NIE

I’m not who I used to be.
If you think your life’s fucked up think again
I’m not taking anymore excuses, not giving any either

And If you didn’t care, I’m not going to either
Life ain’t roses and rainbows my friends
Its uglier than you think.
And if any of you assholes think you can make it worse for me
Watch your back cos I’ll be coming for you.
Less said more done
Thiru’s changed. Deal with it.
Success is my only motherfucking option failure’s not.

Ujale Bazz - AGNEE

"I have fallen in love with the dreams of the fiery one

I was bound in a cage and now I am ready to fly
Oh Mother.. I made friends of a falcon

Such a flight he flew, that he never came back
Flying here, flying there, we exhausted our wings

We were arrested and fell in love with imprisonment
I have fallen in love with the dreams of the fiery one
Says Firdaus if there were a paradise on earth this is it..this is it"

One of the few and rare indian hard rock songs
Awesome music video

i love the batik details given to the phoenix
More importantly the strong message behind the song
superb.

i really need to stop bobbing my head...

AEROCRATZ dhool 2008

I've never attended a mediacorp show live before. Top that i never attended a big dance competition either, for the fact that i am not a fan of the local indian dance scene.
So what made me go and watch Dhool 2008 live? Its this group. AEROCRATZ.
Yes i maybe a bit biased cos i have friends dancing from the group. Yet i know that if you watch the clips below you too will have your views changed.

What i like. Their commitment and passion. Their drive to be different and unique. Their readiness to sacrifice and their pool of fans, family and members supporting them.
Common indians just like you and me they're not perfect, they too hone the typical habits of indians. Yet i say they stand as role models to the indian society.

For their quarterfinals they did the instrumental version of THUMBE VA by ilaiyaraja. A piece in the raagam kaapi. Their theme was inspired by the ugly duckling. They were able to present the song with such feelings and the message came strong and clear. A really good attempt at contemporary dance.

As for the semifinals they did the popular 80's song tholvi. Nobody would have guessed that you could dance to such a slow piece but yet again they proved us all wrong. I infact had my doubts but in the end i was moved to tears by their performance. They were in the song and they were able to bring the audience into the song too. Truly commendable.

As a whole the dhool show's pretty good. Kalaiselvan's effort at bringing the youth indian society is commendable BUT there are these few uncouth indians that are too shallow to realise this.
An indians strongest and weakest point is his mouth. For that fact i commend VADI, not only for his excellent hosting but also for being to tell these people in their face that they should shut their gap.

From the bottom of my heart i wish AEROCRATZ all the best for your finals. rock on =)

a revolution awaits...

semi finals

quarter finals

kanavugalil vazhnthuvittaen iruthivarai,

intha sogam indru sugamaanathu

oru varamaaga ni thanthathu.

oaoraru kayangal yen vazhkai paadama?

ini theeyai vaithu yeritthalum yen nenjam veezhuma?

too many. just too many

enough of this emotional rollercoaster.

and though they ridicule he has a point

not ready for a serious relationship, just go with the flow

but rather i'de like to spend some time on myself

improving myself

disciplined rudimentary excercises.

DISCIPLINED RUDIMENTARY EXERCISE 1

"The Last Goodbye"

I don't believe you

And I never will

Oh I can't live by your side

With the lies you've tried to instill

I can't take anymore

I dont have to give you a reason

For leaving this time

Coz this is my last goodbye

It's like I hardly know you

But maybe I never did

It's like every emotion you showed me

You kept well hid

And every true word that you ever spoke

Was really deceiving

Now I'm leaving this time

Coz this is my last goodbye

I've gotta turn and walk away

I don't have anything left to say

I haven't already said before

I've grown tired of being used

And I'm sick and tired of being accused

Now I'm walking away from you

And I'm not coming back

weird
no really weird
she had to prove her words, dont bet with a saggie
i've never had someone been this sweet to me.
you know who you are and you're truly appreciated
life has taught me alot,
never to judge a lesson in time i've been educated about.
and you have been full of surprises ever since day 1.
i say when you give without expecting
you will recieve tenfolds
a blessed future with joy and laughter to you =)

an evening at BLU JAZ CAFE

with the baracudas (jiv justin joanne ian faz larris)

and of course who else but sharania

went to watch LILA DRUMS perform live there

it was an african percussion ensemble

i'de like to call it djembe sex, sweet.

its totally inspired me to a whole new level

how an instrument can truly be spiritual

and how the djembe really should be played

a night of african rhythms i will not forget

and oh yea happy birthday justin bitch.

sudha ragunathan

tomorrow's vinayakar chaturthi

and there i was the eve of it at senpaga vinayagar temple

watching south indian classical music's best perform live

SUDHA RAGUNATHAN

such a treat and i have sai vignesh anna to thank for it

like he said, a mix of popular hits

raagam names flying everywhere

i learnt alot that day

and i heard my fav songs, kurai onrum illai and bo shambo

i maybe quiet, but thats cos i want to be like the sponge

absorbing everthing around me and not letting a single word out.

that doesnt mean i don't know

it just means i choose not to say.

performed for don's friend's band, DANNY REJOICE it was really a pleasure working with the 8 piece band
what grabbed me was the fact that they were willing to do anything for music
and they had the backing of family and friends
a rare thing in the indian community
they spent 2k just on the show itself and the shocking truth
it was just a 2 hr segment of a tamil camp in newtown sec
just to show the kids what music really is about
kudos to prathap and dinesh
i sang what i would call "neruppu songs"
hey aatha, aasai nooru vagai,kodampakkam area.
lol really not me but i actually had a gd time
and i learnt a lesson in entertainment.
oh and the last picture was when i danced with one of the auntys on the dance floor
cos i was approached by the students to dance but i din want to.
that reminds me. the warmth of the aunties hai hai.
truly music and love.

question:
are you living the LIFE?
or
are you living the LIE?
the difference lies in a single alphabet
yet the difference holds great magnitude

i don't want to live a lie
so i'm gona sit down and analyse
gather some will from god knows where
and fix this shit.

your repititions of how nothing will last forever
and so would this
has finally etched itself into my mind.

thiru's MIA for the moment
he's gone in search of his dreams.

i'm supposed to be studying but at the moment there's so much going through my head.
I sincerely thank god for helping me through my FIT paper and the friends who cared and wished.theres actually a HELL alot of things that have happened in the past few months that i have not updated about. i will after my exams k.

im losing my fitness touch and i dont like that. on the other hand i freaking despise running. how like that? that plus my freaking low metabolism rate. and exam stress makes you eat like no tomorrow i swear.

over time i have met so many musicians. many have inspired me and many have disgusted with equal magnitude. i honestly cant imagine a life without music and i dont mean this in your typical "oh musics life, i miss music, music is soul" bull crap. over time i've learnt how music basically sums up in two words. Discipline and passion. If god gave you the gift of being musically inclined and you're not doing anything about it, honestly shame on you.
Im running around chasing my music dreams. There was this time in my life when i was so crazy about it i used to blabber "drums,guitar,djembe.sing sing" when i was sleeping.
But god loves to test i guess. I want to state here for all my friends. Music and friendship are 2 different things. Yes they might overlap but they are individual entities. Friendship can make your music lazy and from experience i say this. My whole band became lazy and its depressed me so much. It actually shattered my world. Yet i know my ethics. I still hold on to these friends in hope one day things will work out.
I have to stop worrying about others and concentrate on myself for now.
DJEMBE AND HINDUSTANI VOCALS.

for once in my life i took the chance of being superficial. why in the world do we things that will hurt us unknowingly? i still dont get it. How can someone be so emotionally shallow. You're just another lesson learnt girl.

the world arounds quite shattered and everythings a mess.
i'm trying to pick up the pieces and put them back together.
Before you can love someone else
You need to learn to love yourself
and for that you need to accept yourself for who you are.
At the moment im learning and learning.
i admire the phoenix, trialed by fire only to be reborn.

cardinal avenue

this is cardinal avenue

an amazing rock band in singapore

thats been making big in the local rock scene

from really humble beginings

john on drums

faris on lead guitar

prahlad on vocals and rhythms

and this french chinese guy called brice who plays bass

and happens to be a best friend of mine

from being real tight as friends

now their musics really getting tight too

their sounds matured so much

its a real inspiration to see this guys

plus its really my kind of fused rock

a bit of maths a bit of new age a bit of punk and really heavy beats

Cardinal Avenue will be playing live at Scape this saturday

They're the headliners

and also catch them at Baybeats

and go listen to them at http://www.myspace.com/cardinalavenue

awesomeness.

he stands tall, his guru watching over him
and when i took this picture i could only ask
that he too would watch over me.
and now i pray...

that I will complete my diploma properly

and that I will enter NTU-NIE

to become the teacher i've always wanted to be

that I will be strong when it comes to her

i've come to realise how self obsessed she is

looks count for shit my dear

so i pray you do have a good side to you

or else this ends here.

that I find a job now to support myself

and to pay for my education

that i stay focused

i cannot afford to to be distracted

i've only got one shot at this

and finally i thank you for a friend like sharania

Watch the sunrise

Say your goodbyes

Off we go

Some conversation

No contemplation

Hit the road

Car overheats

Jump out of my seat

On the side of the highway baby

Our road is long

Your hold is strong

Please don’t ever let go oh no

I know I don’t know you

But I want you so bad

Everyone has a secret

But can they keep it

Oh no they can’t'

is it wrong to be born with good looks
but not be equipped with the ability to flirt?
is it wrong to refuse a pack of cigs and a beer
and drink coke and eat a pack of kinder bueno when you're stressed?
is it wrong to be able to do almost everything
and yet be humble about it?
is it wrong to be better than others
but yet treat them with respect?
is it wrong to have a strong conscience
and feel sensitive towards every damn thing?
is it wrong to be born indian
and to have to put up with the narrow-minded chinese?
is it wrong to love without expecting anything in return
but to get stabbed back in return?
is it wrong to lead
but end up having a bunch of lazy retards to follow you?
is it wrong to have a conversation with your mom about her life
and end up feeling lonelier than ever?
is it wrong to like a girl
just for her looks?

is it wrong being me?

you tell me...

love.

you cannot define pain
its not something that you can hold in your hands and show to someone
yet i know something that can give you an experience
to enjoy pain in its most fullest form
that something will take place
when you lose the one that you love.

an electrical surge that overcomes your body

it will bring you to your knees
like a broken dam, the tears flow
your breathing becomes heavy
your eyes red
your heads swirling in a rhythmic pattern
you think you're going mad and you're going to faint
but god doesnt grant you that gift
instead you will consciously suffer every second of the turmoil
every memory will set off a time bomb
with hurt gripping your heart in a sleeper hold
in that moment all you can do is muster some energy to look up
and let go a whisper
"help me..."

i write this not to emo but rather to educate myself.
for more than a year i experienced this psychotic phase
alone at night in my room locked up so that no one hears me.
but what made me remember all this

was this small framed picture of lord shiva i have
that i used to talk to like a mad man.
i used to hug it tight and go to sleep to remedy the loneliness and fear.
and one day finally upon that picture i swore my five year abstinence from a relationship

many of my peers never fail to remind that i'm a flirt, a slut
i don't deny. i've had too many dates. just too many
people say i fall in love too fast, i'm fickle minded
but the truth lies in here
she was the only one, the rest were just my frantic struggles to seal that void
the need to be loved.

so thiru why are you telling us all this?
havent we heard enough?

who's telling you?
i'm talking to myself.
and there's a difference cos i know my mistakes
but i'm having a tough time rectifying it.
i want to stick to my promise and the fear of that pain reminds me
but at times i go astray in search of warmth and comfort in love
the deal is to stay focused thiru.
at the moment you're too distracted thiru. too many too many
but i don't blame you la, she's hot =)
and she's your other half
but EH no ah thiru.

i have too many dreams and too much of desire to attain them
and i will just watch me.

if you read this post and you just don't get anything
clearly you have never experienced true love
and the painful joy of it leaving you.
the fact that you think of someone constantly
and that someone out there thinks about you too
thats the beauty of it all.
when you love something too much
let it go, set it free
and if it does come back to you then thats true love there.

i want to thank you chu
for those magical years
and for the gift of love,
cos i stand here the man i am now thanks to all this
and i view the world so very differently
cos of that crazy thing called love.

the beauty of the stay over

lied in the fact that it did not feel wrong

and i did not feel guilty

that made the whole thing just very right

i love

the sights and sounds

the fashion statements

the music the night life

the people the scene

more of this please.

solemates

as corny as it sounded coming from your mouth

i'm seeing those words take form in my heart

i don't regret the things that are happening in my life

cos its somehow brought me closer to you

brother.twin.friend.guyfriend.bestie.

whatever it maybe

i want you to know that i cherish you

the future i do not know what it holds

but for the moment lets just enjoy what we have

love =)

" The world is yours ,

but you don't seem to care "

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
SHIVA!

There's another world inside of me

That you may never see

There're secrets in this life

That I can't hide

Somewhere in this darkness

There's a light that

I can't find

Maybe it's too far away...

Or maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

Hold me when I'm scared

And love me when I'm gone

Everything I am

And everything in me

Wants to be the one

You wanted me to be

I'll never let you down

Even if I could

I'd give up everything

If only for your good

So hold me when I'm here

Right me when I'm wrong

You can hold me when I'm scared

You won't always be there

So love me when I'm gone

Roaming through this darkness

I'm alive but I'm alone

Part of me is fighting this

But part of me is gone

i took every single of you
and placed each one in a single cell of my heart
i was prepared to do anything for you'll

so here i go

i dissapear

for most of you just don't care

and your bad move will make things tear

you're a pretty dumb hoe

watch me now as i go

and now you don't.

cos you will live to regret.

shhhhhhhhh
silence

focus

tension.attention please. give me give me.
i don't know what im trying to say
girls girls glamorous girls. nail that bitch
why are you so in your own world? there are others around
bad move my friend
sharania what you said might just come true, blame yourself for talking about it
you you you.FUCK YOU =)
hockey hockey where do we go from here?
oh death metal oh so soothing.
i need help.
no seriously.

Happy Birthday Sharania

Earth to Bella

You think you’ve got it all figured in

Earth to Bella

Everything you know is wrong (well almost)

Earth to Bella

I see where you are not listening

I bear the burden of being the voice that let's you know

We all grow old

And before you swim you've gotta be okay to sink

Earth to Bella

The world can be an unfriendly place

So hold your head up

And do your best to save some face

It’s not so hard

Just undo yourself and see a second sun ascend

it's okay to sink...

i'm writing this for a person

who i've had the most fall-outs with in the shortest period

who has accused me of blogging about her b4 when i didn't

and now i'm doing it, so i hope you realise

as fast as things come, things will go

and i know your tiny pause will be forever

doesn't matter anyway cos you have too much ego

i write this with a reason

like you always say maturity is not a number

yet we all are tied by nature's law

everything has a balance

everything has a time for it to happen

I despise geeks

but i realised that they too have their place in this world

during a meeting i realised the depth of it

how we might not be able to exist without them and their knowledge

so why question the lifestyle of others?

we were all brought down here for a reason

and each reason is special and different respective to each individual

whether or not they find their true calling is up to them

my dad always told me not to resist nature but rather

to live in harmony with it

i respect and admire your passion for self improvement

yet i see hatred fear anger and dissaproval

the key for improvement is love

and i don't mean selective love

" Ok guys stand in a row, you the poser you're out.
ah yes you're my soul mate yes you're in"

nope does'nt work that way. love is unconditional

screw the past and live the future.

i'm not saying this cos i care

im saying it cos i want to.

a moment in time

when you wave a finger across the crowd

to let the mass know what you're thinking

I KNOW I KNOW

why so angsty thiru why?

truth is that i've been having some really bipolar moments

must be mixing with sharania too much i guess =)

so when im UBER ANGSTY i let it all out here

but when im sky high im out enjoying so i don't bother telling

but i've realised i need to change my style of blogging. now

i've been wacking out my issues all at a shot

i need to sit and analyse each, one by one

and i've realised how anoynimity can irritate the shit out of people

i'm gona be more direct in that sense from now

hmm lets see where shall i start?

fine.
i'm NOT your twin
happy?

smile

you're way too beautiful girl

that's why it will never work

you'll have me suicidal

sharania navalan

this update is for sharania.
i love her mom, the way she adores and annoys sharania haha so cute.
and her dad reminds me of my grandpa man
and i noe in the bottom of her heart, sharania loves me
*she better* cos i do =)
this is the first time i did this publicly
she's suppose to be my twin. go figure
and oh yea, i said thanks to acknowledge your kindess
dont' get it?
*hint: go see your msn nic*

and uma i heard you mumble " i missed you la"
hahaha
stop frowning and smiling at the same time k?


i'm at a point of confusion
i rather not saying anything
pull out, regroup and focus.