i wrote that in hope
but she wants honesty
and right now things just moved from fuck to fuckER to fuckEST
so yea i don't give a shit

your excuse was timely at that moment
but right now it's a bit over-rated
i don't mean to compare, but if so i should have reaked hell in your lives
you are matured enough get yourself together

and you.GROW UP

i'm begining to wonder if the family does feel my absence.

are you just another pretty face?

discipline sweat attitude commitment initiative
and the basic love for music
i read your blog and i take that as my signal to let go
let me remind you that age happens to be only a number with no value attached
maturity has nothing to do with age

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAGU

baracudas
its been a painful journey till now
swollen hands and bruises
but every minute i'm learning
and true role models to look up to
true musicians

the fruits of hockey:
a stick to the knee gives you a swollen knee
and an elbow to the jaw grants you immense pain
nice.

the bitching stops here.
i'll never let another person's perspective affect mine
i'll never let the poison get to me
i've seen what it can do

if i confuse so be it
its getting a tad too much, the need to be understood
at the moment i feel like just letting everything go
droppping dropping dropping
a lesson SJI taught me
theres no other way than UP when you hit rock bottom
and i'm not trusting any single one of you
i'm doing this solo

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main Dikhlata Nahin

Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata...Meri Maa

a mother's love.

cursed you are to be deprived off.

i love my family to bits.

but maybe its just best this way.

qn: unworthy? unwanted?

god bless my family.

He said he's falling to pieces
Fighting the boy and the man
Over his shoulder there was freedom
But consciousness has tied his hands
Embodied youth was his distinction
Now inhibition's in demand
So driven by his fear of weakness
That's his key to understand

Trading places in the circle
Turn the glass, spill the sand
They say that time can make the difference
But age doesn't make you a man
Take a look now, see the boy is weakened
Watch him fade, watch him fade away
Take a bow and the boy is defeated
Is this the way, this the way?
So young but overblown

So far in a distant land
There's a fight between boy and man
See the light through the open door
Sit and watch as the young grow old

define maturity. who's to say what's what?
just remember the 3 faces.
the one you think you are, the one others think you are
and the one you really are.
i'm no one to judge, that's why i take everyone for whom they are
but then again i get sick of being judged. being watched constantly
it would be nice to be understood and to be accepted
then again acceptance is a choice i make.

a phase when even heavy metal seems so soothing to the ear

feels like i pulled a bullet from my heart out. bare hands
its a good feeling. i've finally made peace with my past
silly girl fast to say.
judge the iceberg by its tip and you'll get owned.
a smile i give for others to live on
but my heart stays rooted to the ground.focused
i know what i want.
damn right you are my fren, i'll do anything to get it.
call it renegade dharma
it's the new way to live life. and here's a tip i learnt
they like it hard to get.
anyone wana dream out loud with me?

singapore simran

you and i are not so different

we all have a calling, a certain reason we were born for.

if everyone were to be the same there would be no balance.

which is what nature is all about. the perfect balance.

i aspire to lead and dream.

for you the simple life.

it's not how you live it, it's why you live it.

that's they key.

What's been happening
7th June Morning - Soccer at Fico
7th June afternoon to 9th June morning- Hockey Freshman Camp
(Training, Sleeping at 5am and waking at 8am, Campus Runs, Hockey Tournament, BBQs and NATRA'S SMORES)
9th June afternoon -Batucada Practise
9th June evening - Renu's Birthday chalet @ freaking changi
(thanks seelan for dropping me home)
10th June - Woke up in the late afternoon and went out with the family to watch Narnia and then to Fong Seng to eat Dinner ( My mom's Birthday ) P.S i HATE rejections
11th June - Zombied the whole day and then gymmed ( oh and i composed a psychedelic rock piece)
12th June - Hockey Tranining

What's going to happen
13th June to 17th June - Temple tour in malaysia with RAGU
17th June to 19th June - Hockey Intensive Training Camp/ Batucada Camp ( I have yet to decide)
21st June - Akashic Records Intensive Practise


SO basically this is how my holidays gona get burnt
Ever get that feeling when u sleep, and u just dont want to wake up
and when u do u just wana run away
this is the reason why i cannot stand ppl who get tired easily and start complaining

it's humane to sin right?
but why is it that when i do, i feel my guilt prick so hard
that my whole inner being gets broken to pieces

theres a reason behind everything
they way i feel the way i react
and possibly the way i behave so carelessly infront of you
yes i may have 3 others of my kin, all girls infact
but yet i consider you as a sister
and i've loved you as one too
which is why i reacted this way after seeing the photos
i could care less, but than all of the above would mean nothing
unless thats what you want, cos then i won't give a fuck
cos i'm tired of making things work.
making people love me.

nallavanai iruntha kaalangal
oru payanum illamal mudintha payanangal
ivai yellam yenni parkum bothu
ithu varai vazhntha vazhkai yetharku?
verum manithanaga vazhnthu parpom va.

her radiance, so pure and innocent

in all her beauty i get transfixed

and slowly i whisper to the wind

that i love her with every breath taken

in hope that the breeze would reach her

taking my message along

who am i kidding

as much as i want, she's never to be mine exclusively

so like everyone, i too watch from afar

but i noe she'll be there

and i'll be there too

to admire and adore her from the distance

not every love tale ends happily

and this is my secret love story, with the moon.

That's just like him
To wander off in the evergreen park
Slowly searching
For any sign of the ones he used to love
He says he's got nothing left to live for
And this time I think you'll know

She's just like him
Spoiled rotten, confused by the lies shes been fed
Shes searching for no one but herself
Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy that she is here
And this time I think you'll know

You're not alone

There's more to this I know

You can make it out

You will live to tell

die mr polar bear

die mr polar bear
epilogue:
fuzzy wuzzy warm and nice
for her he would do the same thing thrice
for her he threw in the dice
for her he was prepared to be meat and spice
but for all the things he did
they just wanted to tear him up and eat him
your kind was meant to go extinct anyway
acting upon emotion pays nothing
doing everything for the one you love says nothing
being strong enough to show your weakness means nothing
why bother watching them closely, over the smallest details just to know more
when to them you're just another face in the audience
die mr polar bear
and so she asked and i pondered, " who's watching over the watch man?"

the present prospective past

try to forge your future
the dreams you hope to make true
but shadowed constantly by fears
fears emerged from the errors of the past
a past you still fight to make peace with
resulting in an inability,
an inability to do, do the things you should be doing
an inability to say, say the things you should be saying
an inability to feel, feel the the way you should be feeling
but who's to say what's right?
one leg in the future
one leg in the past
and you pee on the present...
from quavers to crotchets
been living it so off the beat
what i'm trying to say is
basically fundementally
when i close my eyes, no i don't see any girl like don does
but yea that's the thing. i don't see nothing
it's the future that gives me the jitters
and the past that gives me a stabbing pain
and so the present just passes me by every second
and i don't seem to have any control of it
nor where i'm heading i don't know

but in all honesty,
i'm happy where i am
cos i have seen the things i shouldnt have seen
and done the things i shouldnt have done
leaves me with nothing but in truth, everything
pain gives you something you can set your sight on
i've got something more to say
but sharania wont be able to read more than 2 mins
so lets give her a break =)