I've moved guys and my bad
i posted the wrong link,
here's the correct one : )
http://aksharaconcepts.livejournal.com

wonderwall

All the roads that lead to you were winding 

And all the lights that light the way are blinding  

There are many things that I would like to say to you  

but I don't know how  

cause maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me  

And after all You're my wonderwall

the past and the future

they dont' matter

the likes and the dislikes

they don't matter

the coulds and the shoulds

they don't matter

cos right now this how i feel

you, my wonderwall

aasaiyin mugam ni

thaenai maranthuvitta vandum

sirappai maranthuvitta poovum

vaanai maranthirukkum payirum

intha vaiyagam muzhuthum illai thozhi

aval mugam maranthu ponal

intha kangal irandum payanundo?

aasai mugam maranthu poche

ithai yaaridam solvaenadi thozhi?

when everything around you becomes too much to bear

your eyes will tend to close itself in hopes of better days

aanal kanavinilae aval mugam kandu yen udal yerinthathu

kadhalin peyaril yen thuyil kalaitha silarum 

visham paaithu vaedikkai kandanar

vishamum veriyum kalanthu uruvaanathu 

yen manathinul oru mirugam

" a moment of weakness reflects

 your true beauty and my salacious design "

dhyaanathil irantha sivanai mayakki yezhuppiya umayaval pola

un azhagum anbum yen thookathai kalaithu 

yen kangalai thiranthathu

mazhaiyil nanainthathu yen manam, aanalum kulir kaayavillai.. kaaranam?

a bitter sweet sensation result of your commitment 

to another's heart

unnai ariyamale ni yen manathil pugunthu idam pidithai

doing what made me felt good at that moment

does'nt mean it was the right thing to do

i knew that but yet could not comply

that's when my heart and head declared war

smelling blood, awaken the monster within

eedilla azhagum asaikka mudiyatha anbum

ithai thavira veru yenna vendum?

desiretemptationsfearsparanoiapiscesastrologyjothidamcompatibilitysoulmateagetraumagoals

kuzhappam kandu manam thalara, nigazhnthathai marakka thuvangiyathu 

as the brain chanted on screaming to let go, i did what was right

then you made your final move in favour of what was right too

but something went terribly wrong

vendam vendam yendru koochalitta manam

vendum vendum yenna azha thodangiyathu

puyal kaatru thisai maariyathu

manam yaenga thegam yerinthathu

thanimaiyai meendum anaikkum neram manam verutthathu

the cold turkey takes place yet again

but this time the heart mind soul body

is so used to it that it does'nt matter anymore

a matter of time will solve and heal everything

ithai yezhutha kaaranam sogam alla

its just a reminder to me and maybe a key to you

un mael kurai ondrum kaanavillai manam

kuzhanthai manam padaithaval ni, a goddess if not to me

i can only hope for the clouds to clear 

and for friendship to shine right through

i'm back to where it all begins again, a void

wondering how many more times will i be tested

but this time its my opportunity to prove to myself

i'm gona do this

i'm gona finish strong

pirava varam thaarum

iraiva marubadi piranthal 

un thiruvadi marava varam thaarum;

where i really need to go now...

sorry what's that?

COULD YOU SPEAK UP PLEASE!?

oh no...

ready to take that fall, a plunge so deep

cos at this moment I'M HAPPY

sakhyam

to be blessed with a true friend

is a boon presented to a penance of many births

a qualification not many can justify to

thus the reason why it's such a rare gem

let perfection be in the eye of the beholder

for the many watching eyes look on

peering through the cracks in your soul

digging into the weaknesses of your character

waiting for a chance to take you down

in hopes of hiding their own faults

to make them feel stronger

so let it be

hug me tight a warmth in love

take a knife and put it against my skin 

the cold blade sending a warning chill

then you start to hack away

only to leave me naked, cold and in gore

yet me eyes will look at you only in compassion

such was the character

but if you keep polishing a stone

pushing its edge for perfection

no sooner will it disintegrate right infront of your face

and then will you regret your actions and miss its presence

so this is the scene

but in the end the one true friend

who has always been there for you

who will be able to judge you in all truth

will be yourself

create a universe within yourself

and then you can take this whole earth 

within your palm making it a part of you

there's so much more to life

so much that truly matters and counts

i'm moving forward

saying goodbye has become a habitual skill for me

and here's one for you :)

but i ain't givin up

indignation

amidst the "go-with-the-flow" sheep

one stands firm against conformity

it takes much valor to stand up for what you believe in

just cos' others do it, does not make it right

something that i constantly remind myself about

is the fact that when you're prepared to do the right thing

you have to be prepared to do it alone too

i've spent the past 2 years pinning hopes and beliefs on others

good friends i would say

and their failure to deliver took a toll on me

which made me realize that humans are selfish creatures

always weighing their ulterior motives

and my god indians are lazy people who love to talk and not do work

plus recent switches in values of people around me

has induced a venomous disgust in me for them

so like weeds in a padi field i've decided to pluck them out

yea I'm cold and hard 

but i believe in god's purpose of existence for everyone one of us

and I'm blessed with a friend, heart of gold

there must be a reason why things happened this way

there must be a reason why i feel this way

21 years of falling down and relentlessly picking myself up

will not go to waste

the question right now is

ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH STRONG?

i would like to apologize to those who actually read my blog

i know lately it's been excessively emotional

but NO it does not mean that i'm going through a phase

it's actually me being lazy

i've been using the blog as a channel to vent the negative emotions

not a good idea i realized

other than that i've been too much of a sloth to update on the happenings

or share a view or 2

which i promise i will pretty soon 

at this very moment i'm good

its almost a year since i started taking percussion seriously 

latin afro and indian

it's been good and i've gone places, god's will

but it's time to take it to the next level

let's just see how it works out

but for this year it's alot of observing and learning

gandharva plan

 

you asked me whether i used you

but i keep wondering if its the other way round

at the moment i'm sorting out the mess

my tolerance and give-a-shit level is at its lowest 

ask my friend, she'll tell you

but somehow my dads always been giving valuable advice at the right time

and ragu's presence is invaluable

this weeks plan: voodoo and my room

Skin head, dead head

Everybody gone bad

Situation, aggravation

Everybody allegation

In the suite, on the news

Everybody dog food

Bang bang, shot dead

Everybody's gone mad

Beat me, hate me

You can never break me

Will me, thrill me

You can never kill me

Jew me, sue me

Everybody do me

Kick me, kike me

Don't you black or white me

All I wanna say is that

They don't really care about us

asai mugam maranthu poche

ithai yaaridam solvenadi thozhi

nesamum marakkavillai nenjam 

yenil ninaivu mugam marakkalamo

asai mugam maranthu poche

ithai yaaridam solvenadi thozhi?

these things have happened too fast

in a blur yet so real but only cos i know this feeling

i've felt it before

now then never i need time

sudden reaction of mixed emotions has left a void

the implications of your decisions

honestly, it may never be the same

but i think that doesn't matter

cos that's what this is all about 

there's alot inside me now but

ithai yaaridam solvenadi thozhi?

MAHA SHIVA RATHIRI

tomorrow's exam

so i'll be home

but the prayer's the same as every year

shivoham

epiphany;

you remind me of her

and that's the only reason why

a bit late eh?

ok so here's the deal;

i'm super disappointed in you brother

cos i took you as a role model

it just goes to show a few things

never put someone up on a pedestal

and never lie to yourself

which brings me to the point about being who you are

if you're a flirtatious bitch be one

don't proclaim innocence tainted by society

it's quite sickening to actually believe in someone's purity

only to be made look like a fool

sexcapades

it's become such a common thing

honestly is it that hard to be faithful?

is it that hard to keep your virginity intact

this isn't random, i just hear too many stories

people choose to give their bodies first rather than their hearts

sorry but i just can't digest that

i'm wondering when i turn 25 how many virgin girls are gona be left man

seriously

its okay

its alright

so what's new? 

dysphoria =)

i really hate exam periods

sucks the life out me

kept it in for the past few months

but its all gone now

akshara under construction

at this very moment

i'm very worn out by everything that has happened

i've silently watched as others paraded

about themselves and about others

how great they are, or think they are

been in the middle of triangles

but in all i've stayed a silent observer

i've assessed and picked out what i need

yet every time i try to instill

i somehow fail or get distracted

worse is the feeling of being stabbed by ungrateful people

frankly i'm tired

it would be nice to have someone to knock some sense into me

or a few reassuring words would do

but no time for that

the concoction should be ready soon

no sugar no spice

just every single damn thing i've seen and experienced

but somehow i just cant get it all together

horoscope

Attractive personality.sexy. 

Affectionate.Shy and reserved. 

Secretive. 

Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic.

Loves peace and serenity. 

Sensitive to others. 

Loves to serve others.

Easily angered. Trustworthy. 

Appreciative and returns kindness. 

Observant and assesses others. 

Revengeful. 

Loves to dream and fantasize. 

Loves traveling.

Loves attention. 

Hasty decisions in choosing partners. 

Loves home decors. Musically talented.

Loves special things. 

Moody.

omfg its bloody hot

god help

i really need a guru

a guidance a role model a mentor

someone

silence focus

omg wtf a wet one

the advent of sandhya

"Shaaman paiyan tere bina tu gher aa sohniya..."

As the evening brings on the darkness of the night, the bright days are over. Dysphoria settles around everywhere without you and i request my beloved you come back home soon. For it is in this cross road that melancholy prances around as i await the advent of sandhya.

p.s;

sandhya in sansrit means evening

blame simple coincidence

words twisted to look like flowers bestowed yet with dark motives

are no less equal to a cheap pick up line

my words metamorphosed into poems by your will shall be meant for you

i don't see any greater glory than that

for none whom is deserving i have come across

and now that i look back i realise

my cause noble and will strong

for in kindness and love as soft as a flower

yet in principles as loud as thunder shall it be

i have no reason to bow down and surrender to fate

this is what i mean by i had enough

mother

Uyirum neeye udalum neeye thaaye

Thann udalil sumandhu Uyirai pagirndhu Uruvam tharuvaai neeye

Un kannil vazhiyum oru thuli pothum kadalum muzhugum thaaye

Un kaaladi mattum tharuvai thaaye Sorgam yenbathu Poiyye

Pennai Padaithan Mannai Padaithan Katrum Oliyum Mazhaiyum Padaithaan

Boomikku athanal nimmathi illai

Saami Thavitthan Thaayai Padaithan

translate;

The very life, the very form, the very relationship that is you Mother

You took care of me in your womb sharing your life and soul 

so that i could attain this form

A drop of tear from your is enough to make the ocean overflow

Your lotus feet are enough to make me believe that heaven is a myth

God created MAN and the 5 elements

Because of which there was no peace on Earth and God suffered

thus he created MOTHER

a mother's love

cannot be matched by anything in this entire universe

this is what my heart yearns for

what my soul burns for

the reason for me to begin this journey

and the destination that this journey awaits to reach

the unconditional love that pulls me towards it

that seems so near yet so intangible

the only thing that god forgot to endow me with

why?