sept 19th 2006

i can't anymore
i'm human too and i need to stop lying
cos this pain is real
this need to be alone
its so damn real.
back to where i started
on sept 19th 2006
when i wrote
love in betrayal
pleasure in pain
warmth in solitude

its true
heartbroken
for the 2nd time in my entire life
the fact i still think so much abt you
clearly shows i loved you.
but its killing me i swear

yes i'm angry
by the distance created
its weird how sometimes i feel so pist
but when i noe u're down
my heart just aches and i come out of my sorrow
and give my all to you
but u seem to want to just get further
and further and further away
just go. cos i can't keep pushing myself anymore.

feel like a zombie
every min i'm thinking.
i can't smile
i can't talk
i've been working my ass off to get things off my mind

and its taking a toll on my mind and body

i might just drop dead soon

but i don't mind honestly.

but till the day you realise,
i'll cling on with these painful memories
and i'll just wait just to find out.

cos if it meant anything to you.

sooner or later. you'll feel it...

and i pray so very hard..
this period will not last too long
and that rainbow i was promised after the storm
will come by soon.

hanuman please...